HOW TO CREATE A "BAAP" RESUME?

Parts of post are AI Generated and NSFW

You know my friend Dopinder as you can see in the gif from my movie up there likes to call himself the Baap of all. But I never quite got the meaning of it and turns out he likes to call himself the Daddy. Haah! He taught me a word no man ever could- classic Dopinder. By the way, he had a change of heart and switched teams and broke my heart- you can watch his classic betrayal in his movie- A Nice Indian Boy, where he is diddling the dallions with.... I can't even say it.... A DISNEY DUDE!! Gahhhh, why does Fiege gotta screw it all up?

But at least I am the fan favorite at MBA Conquerors!!!

Alright, you miserable lovers of backstabbers, listen up! It’s your ol’ pal Deadpool here, ready to drop some chimichanga-flavored wisdom on how to craft a Baap resume that’ll make you the Daddy of MBA applications—without you even noticing, ya sneaky weasel!

Let’s break it down with my patent not pending FCQ BG acronym. And no, you filthy-minded freak, it’s not that kinda acronym—get your head outta the gutter!

F - FORMAT

Yeah, that’s right, F stands for Format, you perv- there are other words starting with F ya know like Francis! This is about laying out your resume like a goddamn work of art. Education, career, extracurriculars, and that weird hobby you’re too embarrassed to admit—like collecting vintage toe lint. Pick a structure and stick to it like I stick to my katanas!

C - CONSISTENCY

You think Scout Master Kevin was consistent? Or was it persistent? Whatever, doesn’t matter! Point is, don’t go all wacko with your bullet points. Keep ‘em tighter than my suit after Taco Tuesday. Inconsistent formatting? Kiss your dream MBA goodbye, bub. Das rite! I steal shit, even "bub". Because he is the textbook definition of "CONSISTENCY" or may be not!!

Q - QUANTIFICATION

"Where do you live?" "House", "Where is your house?" "Next to my neighbor's house", "Where is your neighbor's house?" "Next to my house", "Where are both your houses?" "In my city".... Don't be that guy or whatever you identify as! I’ll slap you into next week! Quantify your shit—numbers, stats, results. Show ‘em you’re not just talk, like when I took down 47 goons with nothing but a spork.

B - BRAND

You ain’t a freakin’ rainbow of skills, you egomaniac! Match your brand to the school or job you’re chasing. Every place wants a specific flavor of loser, so tailor your resume to fit their vibe—don’t just spray your light of “awesome” everywhere. Be the loser the school wants, not just any loser.

G - GOALS

Those fancy-pants admissions folks love their “transferable skills.” So why the hell doesn’t your resume scream, “I got the skills for my post-MBA dreams”? Don’t act like you’re too cool for it, like that “Nice Indian Boy Baap” who thought he was too good for me and Dopinder’s epic love saga. Everyone wants to be the Tina Fey of the adcom these days.

Now quit gawkin’ at my tragic rom-com with Dopinder and get to work on that Baap resume! Oh, you want a sample? Fine, check out Michael Scott’s MBA resume for a masterclass in paper perfection. Now scram, you resume-writing rejects! There is a boring video too, but you can put up with those suckers at MBA Conquerors for 11 minutes and 43 seconds, right? Go make a superhero landing and don't forget to read - "How to be the Daddy of MBA Essays" after you are done with your resume!

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